There are over 170,000 words in the Oxford dictionary. English is an amazing and evolving language and those who know it and speak it pride themselves on having multiple words for any occasion. Well, almost any occasion. There are no words for days like today.
Shock doesn't even start to cover it. Horror seems far to narrow for the tidal wave of emotions that flood our hearts and spill forth from our eyes. But what other words can we possibly use? Grief is close but seems too formal and stark. Devastation is too noisy for these times after a tragedy when all we can do is watch and mourn and pray.
We touch base with the people we love to see our pain reflected back at us in their eyes. It's a affirmation of our empathy and humanity and it seems to make the pain at least have a purpose. We so desperately need a purpose today.
I always take events like this so personally. Columbine was a loss of innocence for me and that combined with a scare I had in Jr. High leaves me shaken and shut off whenever these senseless catastrophes hit. But perhaps that's self centered of me to think that way. When people die in violent and cruel way, especially children, it's personal for everyone.
I cry for the children and the adults who's lives were cut short. I mourn for the friends and the families who are shattered by this. I mourn for the kids in the next room who will never be the same. I mourn for the town who have to carry this terrible burden and legacy, who will not be left to cope in peace because the news will want to use them as fodder for stories and the politicians will want to use it to score points. There is no good that can come from something like this. No silver lining. And no words
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