So there is a family from Florida who have a teenage daughter who started to get out of control. It happens to the best of us in Florida. You spend all day with drug king pins in Miami and all night with Nathan Lane in a drag club in South Beach all while eating nothing but churros. I assume. Most of my knowledge of Florida comes from movies made in the 90s, and a trip to Disney World my family took when I was 8.
The parents of this particular girl found themselves at the end of their rope and somehow decided that the best course of action was to make their daughter stand next to a busy street with a large handpainted sign that reads "Jasmine I sneak boys in at 3am and disrespect my parents and grand parents"
I wish I could have been there when they were talking this punnishment over because I have so very very many questions. Which parent came up with the sign idea? Why didn't the other one stop them? Were there other mortifying punnishments to choose from? Did they make her paint the sign? And for the love of mercy who chose the wording?
Because that's what kills me. I mean once the initial shock of parents willing to essentially send their precious baby girl out into the world proclaiming to be a weird twist on a Hawthorne character, you come to the fact that these people a) made this girl identify herself by name b) forced her to be known as "The girl with the crazy ass parents" and c) have dragged the grandparents into this whole bizarre melodrama. Not bad enough that you sinned with a boy Jasmine, but you brought shame down on Gam Gam and Pappy while you did it.
If this girl makes it to 18 without commiting parracide (that's the actual word. I looked it up) you can bet your bottom dollar that she's moving to the amazon and telling every guy she dates that she was an orphan.
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