Sometimes there just aren't words

There are over 170,000 words in the Oxford dictionary. English is an amazing and evolving language and those who know it and speak it pride themselves on having multiple words for any occasion. Well, almost any occasion. There are no words for days like today.

Shock doesn't even start to cover it. Horror seems far to narrow for the tidal wave of emotions that flood our hearts and spill forth from our eyes. But what other words can we possibly use? Grief is close but seems too formal and stark. Devastation is too noisy for these times after a tragedy when all we can do is watch and mourn and pray.

We touch base with the people we love to see our pain reflected back at us in their eyes. It's a affirmation of our empathy and humanity and it seems to make the pain at least have a purpose. We so desperately need a purpose today.

I always take events like this so personally. Columbine was a loss of innocence for me and that combined with a scare I had in Jr. High leaves me shaken and shut off whenever these senseless catastrophes hit. But perhaps that's self centered of me to think that way. When people die in violent and cruel way, especially children, it's personal for everyone.

I cry for the children and the adults who's lives were cut short. I mourn for the friends and the families who are shattered by this. I mourn for the kids in the next room who will never be the same. I mourn for the town who have to carry this terrible burden and legacy, who will not be left to cope in peace because the news will want to use them as fodder for stories and the politicians will want to use it to score points. There is no good that can come from something like this. No silver lining. And no words

I'm going, I'm going

I got called out for not posting up here for a few days. Because my best friend is a pain in my ass. But I love her and our relationship has always been about keeping each other in check. So here I am.

I had this whole themed blog talking about how all my favorite holiday things are dark and twisty. Like Dickenzian dark. Like my favorite Christmas movie is A Lion in Winter (For those who haven't seen in's a charming movie about an old timey family of sociopaths who love each other but really just kind of want to ruin everyone's lives) To tell the truth I got part way through the post and felt more than a little Scroogy. (See what I did there? No? Damn.) So the current post is going to be a revelation I had while watching a bad movie earlier tonight.

As is my habbit from time to time I watched Blade Trinity tonight. I'm not ashamed. I own it along with four or five (or ten) other movies that have almost no redeemable qualities. But I got to talking with Christy about the origin story for Blade. See back in the day Blade's mother was seduced by a vampire and she died giving birth to him. She later got turned into a vampire herself. Does this story have a familiar strain for anyone? It's basically the same story of Bella and Edward's creepy doll-eyed spawn in the twilight series. That's right folks. Blade's back story matches up point for point with a twilight book.

Game. Set. Match. 

It's either the best idea ever or the therapy bills are gonna be outrageous

So there is a family from Florida who have a teenage daughter who started to get out of control. It happens to the best of us in Florida. You spend all day with drug king pins in Miami and all night with Nathan Lane in a drag club in South Beach all while eating nothing but churros. I assume. Most of my knowledge of Florida comes from movies made in the 90s, and a trip to Disney World my family took when I was 8.

The parents of this particular girl found themselves at the end of their rope and somehow decided that the best course of action was to make their daughter stand next to a busy street with a large handpainted sign that reads "Jasmine I sneak boys in at 3am and disrespect my parents and grand parents"

I wish I could have been there when they were talking this punnishment over because I have so very very many questions. Which parent came up with the sign idea? Why didn't the other one stop them? Were there other mortifying punnishments to choose from? Did they make her paint the sign? And for the love of mercy who chose the wording?

Because that's what kills me. I mean once the initial shock of parents willing to essentially send their precious baby girl out into the world proclaiming to be a weird twist on a Hawthorne character, you come to the fact that these people a) made this girl identify herself by name b) forced her to be known as "The girl with the crazy ass parents" and c) have dragged the grandparents into this whole bizarre melodrama. Not bad enough that you sinned with a boy Jasmine, but you brought shame down on Gam Gam and Pappy while you did it.

If this girl makes it to 18 without commiting parracide (that's the actual word. I looked it up) you can bet your bottom dollar that she's moving to the amazon and telling every guy she dates that she was an orphan.

Oh Amoeba. Never change

I don't think there's a single place in this city I love more than Amoeba Records in Hollywood. It's a warehouse sized store filled with music and movies and employees who just don't give a fuck. And I love that they don't give a fuck. And they love that I love that they don't give a fuck. It's what makes the store feel like home for me, the idea that these people are encouraged to have opinions and be themselves at work. As I purchased my monthly allowance of CD's today (I had to restrict both the number of times I visit Amoeba a month and the number of things I buy there or I would spend my rent money on music every single time) I had a brilliant conversation with the guy in the faded Nine Inch Nails t-shirt who was checking me out. He pointed to my unicorn necklace* and said the following

NIN Guy: Nice necklace. What do you think the horn is for?

Me: Pretty sure in the olden times it stood for fertility.

NIN Guy: You think the horn is for fucking?

Me: Yeah, why do you think they're always hanging out with virgins.

NIN Guy: Nah. Pretty sure the horn is for stabbing.

Me: Stabbing?

NIN Guy: Yeah like stabbing other unicorns in fights. Like a shank attached to their heads.

Me: I mean that's probably how I would use it.

NIN Guy: Me too. You like horses?

Me: Yeah.

NIN Guy: I'm allergic. But this one time I was up in the mountains dropping acid with my friends and I wandered into this stable next to the cabin and just hung out with this big horse with these huge eyes for like two hours.

Me: That sounds like a good trip.

NIN Guy: Yeah it was fuckin awesome. Credit or debit?

*I've owned this necklace since I was 10 or so. I plan on wearing it till I'm 80. Maturity is overrated.