It Hurts in a Bad Way

I've been in an abusive relationship for two and a half years. Not with a guy. With a TV show. ABC's once upon a time is well into it's 3rd year of mouth frothing lunacy and at this point, I can't stop. This show is what happens when you drug a toddler with too much cough syrup and then let him color a script with his crayons. It wasn't always this way. In the first season the characters actions and choices had genuine consequences and while there were several dud episodes, it was nothing I couldn't overlook.

Anything to do with this bitch was just terrible

Things started to go off the rails pretty fast in season two. They broke the curse that had been the whole point of the show and clearly had no idea where to go. They threw in so many plot hiccups (The evil queen has an EVILER MOTHER, Emma and Snow are trapped in fairytale land, the guy who played the evil king in the first season keeps glaring at people menacingly!) but they threw in something that made me stay anyway. They threw in an Irish pirate. It was like a cheesy fairy tale tinted version of Chocolat. I was helpless.

I'm caught in the tractor beam of his guyliner

And now it's a season later. And the plot gets worse every episode. And the kid who plays Henry makes me so angry that I have actually had fantasies about pushing him off the deck of the Titanic. He's 12. That makes me a sociopath, but by God he is just the most irritating preteen alive. 

His face just screams punch me repeatedly

But I watched the episode that aired two days ago, where nothing happened. And I'll watch the next episode, where I can just about promise you that nothing will happen. Except the characters will turn to each other and state their feelings in simple and poorly worded lines. Because it's my fault that it does this to me. I just have to learn to love it for who it is.