In my Bonnie-ass house in scottland

I'd like to share this conversation between my sister and I that actually happened yesterday

Me: F today

Christy: yeah. Feel you there. 

Me: I think I found our scottland home. It's on a loch. It looks bonnie and shit.

Christy: sold. I love things that are bonnie and shit.

Me: if you're mocking my language, I say only that I'll take the high road if you take the low road and I'll be in our bonnie-ass scottland house before ye.

Me: if you're not then, rocking. Join me on the high road and we  can arrive at the same time. 

Christy: I was not mocking but I almost wish I had been. And that I'd been able to hear you sing that little ditty.

Me: if you take the looooow road then I'll take the high road and I'll be at our bonnie-ass scottland home before yeeeeee! For you were too snarky to hear the address and now you'll get eaten by Nessiiiiiiiiiiiiieee

Me: bagpipe solo. 

Christy: woooooooww. 

Me: I'm working on a second verse but my knowledge of Scottish culture is limited to braveheart and Amy pond.

Christy: yeah. Me too. Threaten someone I guess.

Me: you'll take my life but you'll never take my freedom! And you'll never take the mansion from Skyfaaaaaaaall! If you wish to find me, you know just where I'll be. In my bonnie-ass house in scottland. 

Me: it may need a second pass. 

Christy: oh my god. I'm crying. 

This is what happens when Chris and I are forced to wait too long between projects.