Monday, September 9, 2013

Screw you too September

September is National Suicide Prevention month. Fitting since it does seem that other than a few weeks around Christmas, September is always a stressful and shitty shitty month.

I didn't ever talk about it much but I was severly depressed and suicidal in High School. Part of it was normal teenage bullshit amplified by a strained relationship with my parents but part of it was realizing that high school wouldn't have any meaning in my life once I hit college and still having to attend every damn day.

I'm better now than I was but especially in weeks like this one where I have a lot going on, I get stressed and I withdraw and then all I want to do is lock myself in my room with my guitar and play John Craigie songs to myself as I drink. A lil emo, perhaps, but oddly comforting.

So today I read that To Write Love on Her Arms is doing this promotional thing where they want people to tell them why they cannot be replaced and it kinda hit me. I'm pretty sure I could be replaced. Scary realization that I don't think that there is an aspect of my life, a singular pocket that I occupy, that couldn't be filled (Fairly easily) by another person. It's a feeling I've had for a long time. I just always assumed it was because I'm the youngest in my family. But maybe not.

I'm gonna let that hang there. Let the beautiful sounds of Widower play you out


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