The Hungry Home Intruder (Alternate title: Chef Boyar-Deal Breaker)
The Crime: At the end of last October a 38 year old man Named Michael Don Mitchell broke into a house in Texas and stole $87. I'm totally with the story this far. Who hasn't engaged in some light breaking and entering? I mean since this blog is public I sure haven't but I can sympathize. This part is where the story gets interesting though. While on his little spree around the house to collect coins from sofa cushions, MDM made a quick swing by the pantry and ate a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli and then left the can on the counter. Which lead to his arrest when the police found him skulking around the area with his face still covered in tomato sauce. Seriously, I want to be in the court room staring at the judges face when that bit of evidence comes out in trial. Because after four years of college, three years of law school and god only knows how many years as a lawyer before being appointed to the bench, someone is going to have to watch this guy explain why he couldn't be bothered to wipe his mouth after committing a felony. Although the dissappointment and dispair is gonna have to fight its way to the suface through a look of pure terror because MDM looks like this
The guy would make Michael Meyers pause and think "Maybe I should look on the next block over for a puppy to kill. Dark people live here."
The Movie: Obviously an intent character study on the mind of a hungry criminal. Like the movie Jared Leto made a few years ago but waaaaaaay less boring
The Cast: No brainer. Someone call Nick Cage. I have his next film. Southern accent: check. Intense and somewhat scary stare: check. Love of Italian food: double check. Mr. Cage, your oscar awaits.
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