In my Bonnie-ass house in scottland

I'd like to share this conversation between my sister and I that actually happened yesterday

Me: F today

Christy: yeah. Feel you there. 

Me: I think I found our scottland home. It's on a loch. It looks bonnie and shit.

Christy: sold. I love things that are bonnie and shit.

Me: if you're mocking my language, I say only that I'll take the high road if you take the low road and I'll be in our bonnie-ass scottland house before ye.

Me: if you're not then, rocking. Join me on the high road and we  can arrive at the same time. 

Christy: I was not mocking but I almost wish I had been. And that I'd been able to hear you sing that little ditty.

Me: if you take the looooow road then I'll take the high road and I'll be at our bonnie-ass scottland home before yeeeeee! For you were too snarky to hear the address and now you'll get eaten by Nessiiiiiiiiiiiiieee

Me: bagpipe solo. 

Christy: woooooooww. 

Me: I'm working on a second verse but my knowledge of Scottish culture is limited to braveheart and Amy pond.

Christy: yeah. Me too. Threaten someone I guess.

Me: you'll take my life but you'll never take my freedom! And you'll never take the mansion from Skyfaaaaaaaall! If you wish to find me, you know just where I'll be. In my bonnie-ass house in scottland. 

Me: it may need a second pass. 

Christy: oh my god. I'm crying. 

This is what happens when Chris and I are forced to wait too long between projects. 

I'm Getting On My Soapbox

Ok guys, this is gonna be a rant so go ahead and skip this if you're not in the mood.

I'm bisexual. I've know this for damn near a decade, I'm out to everyone I know and care enough to tell. Having said that,  I've never wanted my sexuality to be a prevailing part of my identity as a person. I'm a geek, and a writer, and a musician, and a sister, and a friend, and an amateur cook and a million other things AS WELL as being bisexual, so with societies habit of focusing on sexuality I've basically back-burnered my bi-ness to avoid being branded with a bright pink triangle that obscures everything else about me.

I mentioned in there that I am a geek. A nerd. And damn proud of it. I roll Supernatural quotes into everyday conversation. I own a sonic screwdriver. I read comic books and graphic novels hand in hand with my actual books (Plenty of both). I get actively annoyed at people who pretend that they are too cool to love superheroes. Because you're not, and now you sound pretentious. Well done, imaginary person I'm having a mental fight with. This is why you have no friends.

The nerdsphere has a reputation for being all inclusive and accepting of everyone. Sometimes it really does deserve that, especially when it comes to comic books. Strong women and LGBT characters thrived in the comic book world since the 80s. Three decades before Ryan Murphy raised his douchey (straight white upperclass male) voice and said "It's OK to be different". Thanks Ryan, you atrocious halfwit. The world of TV and movies, even genre TV and movies, is struggling to catch up with the wonderful diversity that other corners of the Geek world have been up on for years. Joss and Brian Fuller are helping. They really are. But for every character they create that shatters the expectations of the hetero-normative TV scape, we get a headline like this:

"Constantine" team on why character won't be bisexual

Fuck you people. I have so very few pop culture characters that I can relate to in terms of how I view my sexuality. And Game of Thrones offed one of them almost as soon as he was introduced.  There are so many straight characters on TV, and Hell we get more gay and lesbian characters every year. Why is is that despite the fact that bisexuals make up 1/20 of the population, and that women are more likely to identify as Bi than men, we have Jack Harkness as the lone TV character who was both bi, and didn't have that as his main story line.

The blonde is John Constantine. 

And apart from my personal issues with taking away this character trait, it really fucks up the origins of Constantine. You see, John Constantine was created in reaction to the Thatcher era politics of England. A lot of the "demons" he faced for the first few years of the characters run were thinly veiled allegories for political oppression. And one of the main issues that Thatcher was conservative on was homosexuality. By making John Constantine bisexual, the character was immediately at odds with the oppressive views of the world around him, and therefore doomed to Hell. It's like having a version of Superman where Krypton never exploded and Clark Kent just decided Earth needed a jackass in tights to protect it sometimes. The origins are important, they provide the main fucking character motivation. Which leads me to believe that the show is not being run by anyone who was a fan of the character of the Hellblazer books. Which is sad in it's own right. So I say again, fuck you people.

I'm off my soapbox now. Back to posts about music and sexually aggressive star clusters. 

Let Me Rest

I've been having a lot of issues sleeping. Not that I've ever been real good about keeping a consistent sleep schedule. I was the kid who stayed up till 1am on school nights routinely and then shot out the front door of the house at exactly 7:36 every day because that's the last possible moment I could leave and still make it to school on time. Sleep and I have been unwilling allies all my life, struggling against each other as I fight my need for it with every night.

But these days I'm no longer getting 6 hours a night and then sleeping in on my days off. I'm getting 2-3 hours a night and maybe 8 on my days off. It's stress and depression related, I know that. I know I could probably use some therapy and maybe some doctor regulated medication. I also know that at the rate I'm going, I'll have my credit card payed off just about the time I need new tires on my car again, and with the extra people we just took on at work I'm not looking at any overtime in the foreseeable future.

So fuck it. Let us turn our eyes to a beautiful song that sounds ancient and is thematically appropriate.

I give you Let Me Rest by David Wax Museum:

Be still my nerdy heart

The BBC made a tv show of the Three Musketeers. It's glorious. No really. Go now and watch. I'm one episode in and it is both more faithful to the book, and much more fun than any of the adaptations since the Michael York version. I highly recommend it. 

Also, if a decent helping of homoerotic subtext doesn't put you off a show, Syfys Dominion is a ton of fun. Good summer show. 

I'm posting at eleven at night because I've given up on going to bed at a reasonable hour. I've managed to clear up a lot of my depression simptoms from my days, but I can't seem to control them at night. My mom and my sister called in quick succession the other morning and because this is the way my brain works these days, I was sure they were calling because someone died. I was holding back tears when I finally got my mom on the phone. No one died. She was calling to ask about my impending trip out to Colorado and my sister was calling to complain about another sister. And it still had me spending the whole day on the couch in a ball of barely contained emotional fragility. 

I know that depression lies. I know that as a writer, I have chained my emotions to a continuous roller coaster ride that rises and falls with my very fragile ego. And from a rational point of view I understand that the ups and downs I'm experiencing are all in my head. But the fact that they exist in my head is the problem. 

Enough of these heavy issues. I'm off to take my very jumpy cat downstairs where she cannot hear the pre 4th of July fireworks. I probably won't get much sleep tonight, but in live for the hope that there's always tomorrow